In A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews, Nomi Nickel's mother had left the family about three years before "Nomi's memoir" was written. On page 144, "Nomi" writes, "...my mom leaving town to spare my dad the pain of having to choose between the church or her..." This leads to my question: If you only had one choice, would you choose your religion or the person you love (specifically someone of a different religion)?
I think that if the Bible says you have to marry someone in your religion, then it is idiotic. If it does not say it and people just think it says that, then the people are either blind or idiotic.
What if the Bible does say that you have to marry within your religion? I think that it is wrong. Let's say you choose religion over the person you love. After the both of you break-up, you never fall in love again. This would be the total "soulmate" thing. Are you supposed be sad for the rest of your life, never falling in love because you chose your religion over your soulmate?
I personally would say screw the religion. If nobody in my religion likes the fact that I am in love with someone of a different religion, then they don't have to talk to me, just so long as I am happy with the person I love.
If you fall in love with someone that is in your religion, then okay. But what if you fall in love with someone outside of your religion? Do you choose your religion and be sad for the rest of your life? Or do you choose the person you love, be happy, and say "screw the religion?"
Jimmy Jack from Translations: "Do you know the Greek word endogamein? It means to marry within the tribe. And the word exogamein means to marry outside the tribe."
"I personally would say screw the religion." - This post underscores the reason for the reader's frustration with Ray throughout the novel. He's so passive and un-anchored yet the authority of the local church seems to have more power over him than the bonds of his marriage and family. He seems powerless to chose - which is perplexing to me (and hopefully others too..).
ReplyDeleteGood point of conversation, Jamie and Sara--Ray seems powerless to choose because he has so little sense of self. A Complicated Kindness seems to be asking us to see how much of our identity is individual and how much is communal. If your identity is communal, and then you and your family are rejected by the community, you'd better have a strong enough sense of self to move on to another life! This is a modern understanding of psychology that just wasn't part of traditional Mennonite thinking. It needs to change is what I hear Miriam Toews saying.
ReplyDeleteRay doesn't know who he'd be without those beliefs (to borrow from Julia Kasdorf). But is this because of his personality, because of his Mennonite background, or because of his mental instability? The author leaves us to decide.